Bragging Rights Of The Fraudulent Kind

Suzanne Dranow real estate new york los angelesHaving spent my childhood in Los Angeles and many of my adult years in New York, I’m conflicted. I read the New York Times AND the Los Angeles Times every day.
I identify as a New Yorker, especially when it comes to claiming unparalleled authority on topics such as bagels and pizza.  I identify as an Angelino (even though I despise that moniker) when it comes to things like weather, the ability to get to the beach or hike in mountains within 30 minutes of my doorstep, and being able to live in a three bedroom home with only having to sell one of my kidneys.

So it was with mixed pride that I read the thresholds for federal reporting of cash purchases of residential real estate under the new Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network regulations:
  • For LA, San Diego and San Francisco the threshold is $2 million.
  • For Miami and Palm Beach it’s $1 million.
  • For San Antonio, Texas it’s $500,000.
  • For the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island it’s $1.5 million.
  • And for Manhattan… it’s $3 million dollars.
Three million dollars?
I read the numbers over and over, finally realizing I was feeling pangs of jealousy. I was actually proud that California was leading the pack with a threshold double that of Florida, four times that of Texas, $500K more than four city boroughs… only to be sucker punched by Manhattan sneaking in under the wire at $3 million dollars. 
I mean first we can’t make a decent bagel, and now this.
Does the Treasury Department not understand what they will be doing to LA home prices? Sure, we’ll still get the lower-end money launderers and tax evaders, but all the really wealthy criminals will be buying their places in New York.
Yes, average prices per square foot are higher in New York City than in Los Angeles, which is exactly why we shouldn’t be punished, and is exactly why we need a federal stimulus program like this to encourage money launderers to also consider LA when trying to hide up to $2,999,999 in cash.
Cliven Bundy and his rancher cronies made headlines over what they felt was federal over-reach when the BLM tried to charge them for grazing cattle on federal land. Well, I think it’s time for us Angelinos (what a truly lame moniker) to band together and take a stand against Federal Under-Reach! Do you hear me, Federal Government? Either raise our money laundering bar to $3 million, or lower New York’s to $2 million — we in Los Angeles will not rest until we have parity!
I think we Angelinos (really, can’t we come up with a better name for ourselves?) need to take matters into our own hands. And while we’re at it, maybe we can come up with a decent bagel recipe!  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *